This is Tamara and TSC’s story, in Tamara’s own words.
Our Engagement
One day, sitting in a lecture, I was doodling on a piece of scrap paper and I came up with a ring design. The diamond (biggest most sparkly and valuable bit) symbolises God, holding together the two pear-shaped stones on the side (TSC and me), and the bands of white gold symbolise our lives, intertwined. TSC loved the idea, and he asked me to visit a family friend who ran a large diamond business in Gauteng when I was home for my holidays. They offered us a wonderful price. When I got back from my family holiday in Bosnia, I picked up the ring and fitted it on. I hated it. It looked nothing like my design. But I sucked it up and headed back to CT, where I handed the ring over to TSC and waited for him to propose.
Thankfully he is as impatient as I am, so I didn’t have to wait long. After two days, he called me from work and asked me what my plans were for dinner – he wanted to take me out. Knowing what was coming, I asked (casually, I thought), whether I should dress up. He said yes. Fishing some more, I asked whether I should dress up for sushi at our local spot or more for the Mt. Nelson. He said, “Dress for the Mt. Nelson”. I squealed and said, “Are we going to the the Mt. Nelson?!” I’d always wanted to go, but it was way out of our budget. “No!” was the adamant reply.
We drove to the surprise spot where he’d made a reservation and I climbed out the car… We were standing opposite a very dodgey looking pub called Nelson’s Eye. “Um, I feel a bit over-dressed,” I said. He was distraught - he’d got the name wrong and booked at the wrong place! I tried to comfort him and said he should forget about it – we could do the supper on another night. He decided we would try the Mt Nelson and see if they had a table open since that was where he’d wanted to take me.
They did have a table open. The sussed out our clothes and asked if it was a special occasion. TSC whispered that he was going to ask me to marry him. I pretended I couldn’t hear. We had a sublime evening. The food and service is amazing (we’ve been back twice on our wedding anniversary since). We ordered bubbly. Then he started… I’d warned him that when he asked me, I might ask “why”, which is what my best friend did when her boyfriend proposed. So TSC had prepared an answer. His speech went something like this:
“You know I love you and I think you’re the most amazing woman in the world. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So will you make me the happiest man alive?”
To which I responded, “And by that, what you mean to say is…?”
“Will you marry me?”
Of course, I said yes. Even though I’d known it was coming, I bawled my eyes out. He put the ring on my finger and suddenly it was perfect.
I loved our whole engagement experience. The only thing I’d change is that he didn’t get down on one knee! We were both so young and out of our depth at such a luxury restaurant that he was too embarrassed. In fact, we only have one photo of the night – taken outside, because we were too shy to ask if we could take photos inside. I still rag him about the lack of bended knee. 
The Big Day
I loved my wedding. LOVED it. It was a beautiful 35 degree sunny day with cloudless blue skies on 16 December 2006 (nearly five years ago!). It was a week after my graduation and we were both 22 at the time. I had only ever been to three weddings (and two of them were only because I was singing in the choir – I didn’t know the brides). My family, my bridesmaids and I all stayed at the Lodge the night before and on the morning of the wedding, we had a lovely lazy brunch and then started our preparation. I was not going to be one of those brides that stressed about the things that weren’t perfect and missed out on enjoying every moment of the day. There was bubbly, giggles and lots of girly chat going on where I was getting ready with my army of smurfs- five bridesmaids dressed in bright blue.
TSC and his best man, on the other hand, were watching cricket and having a beer.
My shoes were found after about three hours of trawling Canal Walk shopping centre. TSC’s shoes took us three months to find, fussy boy this one. I had two garters – one given to me by the dressmaker at Mayers, and one I’d found (the on in the picture) at a Chinese shop for R5, being sold as a “baby headband”. Haha! I used that one for the garter toss and kept the other one.
I had wanted my bridesmaids to feel comfortable, so I bought them each a few metres of fabric and posted it to them. They each designed their own dress and had it made, my only rules were no strapless dresses and nothing super-short. I saw the dresses for the first time on the day and all my girls looked fantastic. Because they’d had to cover their own dress expenses, we got their make-up done professionally for them. I’d also bought each bridesmaid a crystal pendant in Bosnia, which I strung on blue velvet ribbon as a thank you. They all wore them on the day.
The wedding started at about 3pm with an outdoor ceremony, followed by canapes on the lawn.
I did a lot of decor stuff myself.
I made little baubles and strung them from the trees with small bells so that when the wind blew, you could hear them tinkling. Each hanging bauble had a chocolate in it with a note to each guest thanking them for being with us. We did these instead of favours, and while we disappeared to have photos taken, the guests kept themselves busy looking for their baubles. Seeing we got married a week before Christmas, lots of them apparently used them as Christmas tree decorations afterwards.
There were also photos of TSC and I hung up, with little anecdotes about where they were taken written on the back.
I also knew that if I had had a bouquet, I would probably have lost it or sat on it, so I asked for a trailing wrist corsage band with bells woven into it too. Each bridesmaid also had a wrist corsage.
My folks were amazing and I’d love to show you a family pic, but they’d kill me if I put their photos up online, so I’ll just show you one of my brother doing the reading, which he forgot in the room. Our pastor said, “And now, a reading from Tamara’s brother” and then there was this long pause. Eventually he said, “Does anyone know where Tamara’s brother is?”
Someone shouted from the back of the crowd, “He’s gone to fetch the reading!”
Hehehe… it was awesome.
We had two pastors at our wedding – one officiating and one who preached. He gave a brilliant, short and to the point message, which I was thankful for. We wrote our vows ourselves and after the official bits, we had a group of family and friends pray for us.
There are no photos of me putting the ring on TSC’s finger – he gave me the wrong hand and had to change it afterwards! It was tough getting the rings on – in such hot weather, our fingers were quite swollen.
Instead of rose petals or rice, I opted for pink dried fynbos flowers. Local and eco-friendly. 
A bit itchy when they get down your dress though!
For the ceremony’s music, we had a wonderfully talented friend, Chris, sing and play guitar for our hymns, and another muso friend, Lolita, joined him to sing an incredible version of Amazing Grace while TSC and I signed the register inside.
Our MC, Phil, was a good friend who is Zimbabwean, meaning he doesn’t speak any Afrikaans. All of TSC’s family hardly speak any English. Phil decided to use the only Afrikaans word he knew and pepper his speeches with it, much to the confusion of everyone there. The word was aardappel – potato!
I’m not a fan of wedding cake, so I got a varsity friend who happened to be a qualified chef to whip up some absolutely amazing cupcakes. This was before cupcakes were “trendy”. They were delish.
Before the canapes were served, my mom had put out a whole whack of nuts and TSC’s parents had supplied 20kg of biltong and droe wors from their farm. It all got polished off within minutes!
After the canapes, we put out a “dessert bar” with chocolates, sweets and baked goodies I’d picked up at Compass Bakery (if you live in CT area, you MUST explore there).
Our music was handled by a friend who set up my laptop with a sound system. TSC and I opened the dance floor with a supposed rhumba to The Carpenters’ “Close to You”. TSC got stage fright, so it wasn’t really a rhumba in the end!
We expected people to dance well into the night, but being a balmy CT summer’s day, it just didn’t get dark (we never got the chance to light our candles and Chinese lanterns)! And by 8.30, most people were tired after a day in the sun and headed home. A few stayed to dance, drink the last of the wine and wander in the vineyards.
It was such a wonderful day and I’ve loved being able to remember it all again as I wrote this.
Dress: designed by me, made by
MayersPhotos:
Denis Ginn Chosen because he made me laugh – I hate being photographed and Denis’ sense of humour made me more relaxed
I’m not sure if he does weddings anymore though.
And now for your visual enjoyment, some photographs of Tamara and TSC’s wedding.
Do you have to toss your bouquet?
Of course not!
For one thing, it probably cost you a fair amount of money and no-one would blame you if you wanted to take it home with you and put it in a vase. Or give it to your mom as a special thank you for all her love and hard work.
Yes, it was fun thirty years ago, because the single girls at a wedding reception were- in all likelihood- considerably younger than they are now, and they had different priorities- marriage and children being at the top of their lists! These days, the bride’s single friends are often successful business and career women with either no intention to marry (even if they are happily involved with someone), or they could be unhappily single and don’t want attention drawn to that fact!
So why was the bouquet ever tossed at all?
One theory tells of how, in ancient times, it was exceptionally lucky to get a piece of the bride’s dress. It was accepted that she was unlikely to ever wear it again so single women would chase the bride and try to rip pieces off her dress! Sounds absolutely charming doesn’t it… Not!! As weddings became bigger and bigger events, wedding dresses started costing more and more money, and women started wanting to keep them to perhaps pass on to a daughter one day- leaving the bride in tatters became rather unpopular. So brides began to give away other objects instead, like their garter and their bouquet.
There are ways of giving away your bouquet where it doesn’t have to be thrown into a crowd of women who are more likely to scatter than try to catch it!
You could play a dancing game and eliminate couples on the dance floor until the couple remaining is the one that’s been together the longest and give them the flowers. Or if you have a hand tied bouquet of single flowers you could untie it and give each lady a single flower. Or blindfold the bride, have all the ladies stand in a circle around her and when the music stops the person nearest the bride is the one who gets the bouquet.
If you are going to be tossing your bouquet into a crowd standing behind you, make sure to check how high the ceilings are, that the ladies don’t stand too far behind you, and that there are no ceiling fans that could interfere with the flowers’ trajectory!
The possibilities are endless.
And there are no rules.
A monogram can be a gorgeous and surprisingly useful addition to your wedding’s theme! There are a few things you may want to keep in mind when designing your monogram.
Its considered a bit of a no-no to include what will be your married surname’s initial in your monogram before you are actually married, so the monogram on your invitations, save-the-date notifications and bridal shower thank you letters should have only your first name initials in it. The ceremony programs (if you have them) are up for discussion- some feel its still too soon to use your new surname on these whilst I think its the perfect time to show your new monogram for the first time! After the ceremony of course you can use it anywhere and everywhere- a jewelled decoration on your cake, on your bonbonnieres, traced in petals on the dance floor, printed on your thank you letters, embroidered on your serviettes- you name it!
As for the order of the letters, the bride’s name or initial must be first. Why? Because the man’s initial should never be seperated from his surname. Yes, I know it sounds antiquated, but that’s how it works. Naturally if the bride is keeping her maiden name then a monogram with the groom’s surname won’t even be considered.
There are endless options when you design your wedding monogram. You can use just your first names and initials, you can use just your new surname’s initial with a little decoration, or you can use only your initials and the first letter of your new surname, in which case the surname’s initial should be bigger than the first name initials and it should be in the middle. I used mine and my husbands first name initials on our cupcake collars!
There are no rules!
Have you discovered Pinterest yet? I wish it had existed when I was planning my wedding…
Its a fantastic place to pin anything and everything you think you might want to incorporate into your own wedding, and its SOOO much easier than adding a website or a link to your shortcuts or favourites list! I don’t know about you but half the time when I am looking for something I’ve seen- I go to Google, not my “Favourites”. Using Pinterest you can immediately see a picture showing you why you pinned it to your board, and clicking on the picture will take you back to the link you liked in the first place!
Its awesome!
I now have several wedding-related boards on Pinterest. It started out with just one, but I’m gradually splitting them up so they’re easier to look at… Here they are:
